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On occasion, Jay Spring feels he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his grandiose moments frequently escalate into “highly unrealistic”, he admits. “You are on cloud nine and you’re like, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I’m better than them … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

In his case, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are often coming after a “crash”, a period when he feels deeply emotional and ashamed about his behavior, making him particularly vulnerable to criticism from external sources. He began to think he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after looking up his traits through digital sources – and subsequently evaluated by a clinician. However, he is skeptical he would have accepted the diagnosis unless he had already reached that realization on his own. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – most notably if they harbor beliefs of dominance. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they’ve constructed. And in that mindset, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Although people have been labelled as narcissists for decades, it’s not always clear what people refer to as the term. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” says a leading researcher, noting the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he notes many people keep it private, as there is so much stigma linked to the condition. A narcissist will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a strategy of using people to bolster one’s self-esteem through behaviors including pursuing power,” the specialist explains. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Gender Differences in NPD Presentation

While a significant majority of people identified as having narcissistic personality disorder are males, findings points out this number does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that female narcissism is typically appears in the less obvious variety, which is less commonly diagnosed. “Men’s narcissism tends to be more socially permissible, similar to everything in society,” explains a young adult who posts about her dual diagnosis on online channels. It is not uncommon, the two disorders co-occur.

Individual Challenges

“I really struggle with handling criticism and not being accepted,” she shares, whenever it’s suggested that the issue lies with me, I often enter a defensive state or I become unresponsive.” Despite having this reaction – which is sometimes referred to as “narcissistic injury”, she has been working to manage it and listen to guidance from her loved ones, as she aims to avoid falling into the harmful behaviour of her earlier years. My past relationships were toxic to my partners during adolescence,” she states. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she explains she and her significant other “maintain an agreement where I’ve instructed him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, when I use toxic language, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood mainly in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have positive role models in her youth. It’s been a process of understanding continuously the difference between and is not appropriate to say in conflicts because I lacked that guidance in my formative years,” she shares. “Nothing was off-limits when my relatives were belittling me during my childhood.”

Root Causes of NPD

Conditions like NPD tend to be associated with difficulties as a child. Heredity is a factor,” explains an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “connected with that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he continues, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting particular demands. They then “rely on those identical strategies as adults”.

Like several of the individuals with NPD, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The adult says when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve good grades and professional advancement, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “worthy.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships ever worked out. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he says. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t experiencing genuine affection, until he met his current partner of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, in a comparable situation, struggles with mood stability. She is “highly empathetic of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he says – it was surprisingly, she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Following an appointment to his GP, an assessment was arranged to a mental health professional for an diagnosis and was informed of his condition. He has been recommended for therapeutic sessions via government-funded care (ongoing counseling is the primary approach that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the waiting list for 18 months: It was indicated it is probably going to be in a few months.”

John has only told a small circle about his NPD diagnosis, because “prejudice is common that all narcissists are abusers”, but, in his own mind, he has embraced the diagnosis. This understanding allows me to understand myself better, which is positive,” he comments. All of the people have acknowledged their condition and are seeking help for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the diagnosis. But the existence of NPD content creators and the expansion of virtual networks indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number